Messages From Carrie
Today I Remembered
November 20th, 2007
Today I remembered
How often I forget
In the perpetual motion of work
Deadlines and disasters
All those important tasks
Of no real importance
I am remembering
My unbroken self
Which understands that silence can be considered an absence of sound
Or experienced as a fullness of spirit
I am remembering that all is vanity in the end
Except for the love that tumbles out of us
Or shines down upon us
in fleeting glowing moments
I am remembering my own wholeness
The perfect soul I was born with
Assessing my long endeavors to name the unnamable
To describe what I know
That there is an ache at the center of the human heart,
Longing is a natural state and a companion.
A walking inevitability
That we can try to escape,
But eventually
Can only lean into.
I have spent a lifetime trying to map the shape of shadow and light
Draw the clean edges of the ephemeral.
It has made me somewhat an oddity
It has asked me to live more closely
to the center of all that ache and awe.
I am remembering my promise
My willing decision to stand
In a shaft of January light
Fascinated by the shimmer of the dust
Suspended in a quiet room
And how the light travels across the floor
As a short day lengthens
Reaching out like hands
Covering the wood planks like spilled water
Carrie Newcomer Autumn 2007